Are you lying about who you really are?
I had a really strange encounter with a family member the other day.
I went round to her house and she had cooked lunch for us.
She had gone to great effort and presented a generous amount of food on the kitchen counter for me to dip in and out of as much as I liked throughout our time together.
The thing is when we spoke the previous week about meeting up I had no idea that she was going to go to so much trouble.
If I knew, I wouldn’t have set myself the challenge to juice it the same day.
So, I turned up to her house with a handsome supply of green juices in hand, which I quickly and rather sheepishly (after seeing how much trouble she had gone to) stowed away in her fridge for later. Talk about awkward.
Now, it’s worth mentioning that this particular relative is very sensitive. She would’ve taken it personally if I didn’t eat her food and if I didn’t acknowledge my pleasure whilst doing so.
But to make an awkward situation even more difficult, the food that she had so lovingly prepared was stuff that I haven’t eaten in months. (In another post I’ll tell you about my life since abstaining from meat and dairy but that’s a whole other story.)
Back to the post. So, when I was confronted by a pot of chicken stew and a side dish of potato salad with eggs and mayonnaise I didn’t know what to do or where to run and hide!
So, I lied.
I lied to her when I said I was full after my last green juice.
I felt her eyes on me as I sparingly added a small spoonful of rice to my plate and a drizzle of gravy so I lied.
But I also lied to myself. By pretending that I was happy to eat when in fact I had planned on drinking the juices that I had so gleefully made a few hours earlier, I was committing a serious sin. Lying.
To be honest I came away feeling a little disgusted with myself.
And it was at this point of self-loathing that I started to wonder, why did I do it?
And more to the point, why do so many of us, out of fear of being judged or criticised, “pretend”, “gloss over” or “fake” who we really are.
Despite the fact that I had told her I was juicing it that day, she still would have been offended if I didn’t pile up my plate.
Now, in her defence once upon a time I would have done precisely that.
I absolutely love her cooking but in recent months I’ve also changed my diet and have been feeling all the better for it.
Now, here’s the kicker, if I had explained that to her, I would have run the risk of hurting her feelings – not something I wanted to do.
So, instead I pretended that I was hungry enough to have a little bit of food to avoid any upset.
I was guilty of lying to her and as a trade off for sparing her feelings I felt like shit.
I felt like I had let myself down for not sticking to the goal I had set myself that day.
But more importantly I felt bad because I hadn’t acted in alignment with my true self and my true intentions.
Basically I lied about who I really was in that moment.
You see, in that moment, I was supposed to be healthy and disciplined but I didn’t follow through. I let myself down.
Instead I sacrificed my own happiness in that moment – which actually lasted the rest of the weekend because every time I thought about it I cringed – so that I could safeguard another person’s feelings.
Now, let me just jump off here and say I’m not suggesting you stop caring about other people. That’s not what I’m saying at all. Far from it.
I’m just saying that when you are doing something that is positive and that is making a transformational difference in your life, either personally or professionally, you should be proud of yourself.
You should be happy and take pride in your achievements and feel enthusiastic about the goals you set yourself.
The last thing you should feel is awkward or embarrassed.
I know my example might seems a little trivial but I think the point is a valid one.
In your pursuit of greater meaning, happiness, deeper love, more success, a real sense of vitality, abundance and joy in your life, whatever it may be that you consider to be of enriching benefit to you and those you love, don’t let anybody steal your truth.
Don’t allow a single person, situation or circumstance to take you off track or make you doubt or question who you really are or who you truly want to be.
You are amazing and incredible, never forget that.
Here’s to living in your truth,
Love Nat x
Before you go and live in an awesome way please share your thoughts to today’s post:
Have you ever lied, denied, pretended or faked who you really are, how you feel or believe and how did it make you feel? And more importantly, what did you decide to do in the future to overcome the lying trap?
“Standing in the hall of fame
And the world’s gonna know your name
‘Cause you burn with the brightest flame
And the world’s gonna know your name
And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame” – The Script feat. will.i.am, Hall of Fame